I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?
What if we used it as we traveled?
What if we used it in case of an emergency?
What if we upgraded it to get the latest version?
This is something to make you go … hmmm… where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don’t ever have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
The following are pithy sayings from a variety of Church Signs. Read them and give some thought to each statement.
1. The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
2. Under same management for over 2,000 years.
3. Soul food served here.
4. Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk.
5. You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.
6. Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!
7. Don’t wait for the hearse to take you to church.
8. We should be more concerned with the Rock Of Ages, instead of the age of rock.
9. Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case!
10. Come early for a good seat in the back.
11. Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What’s yours?
12. Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
13. A man’s character is like a fence. It cannot be strengthened by whitewash.
14. Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place!
15. Preach the gospel at all times. Use words only if necessary.
16. Delay is preferable to error.
17. It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees.
18. What part of “THOU SHALT NOT” don’t you understand?
19. A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.
20. The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday!
21. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
22. Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings.
23. Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
24. May is God’s apology for February.
25. To belittle is to be little.
26. Don’t let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you.
27. God answers knee mail.
28. Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back.
~ Fr. Al Jewson
The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect minister preaches exactly fifteen minutes. He condemns sins but never upsets anyone. He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens. The perfect minister smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on congregation families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in his office when needed.
If your minister does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their minister, too. Then bundle up your minister and send him to the church on the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 ministers and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure.
One church broke the chain and got its old minister back in less than three weeks....so don't break the chain.
~ Fr. Al Jewson
Rector's Corner posts written by Pastor Rebecca.